We’re in week 4 of lock down in United Kingdom due to Covid 19 but I suspect the confinement and restriction of movement will continue. I stopped client sessions nearly a month ago before the official government announcement following their guidance about safe social distancing; also I could not operate without PPE (Personal Protective Equipment) which was impossible to obtain. Initially I was feeling very conflicted in my decision as at the time I wasn’t aware of anyone else (chiropractors) closing their clinic.
Within days I knew it was the right decision, my clients were happy that I had taken this route once I explained to them the reasons why; their “whole health” was my main priority, not just their backs. Also I emphasised to them that I was always at the end of the phone to advise in their care even if I could not physically administer it. Currently I’m not sure when the clinics will reopen so I’m not able to treat till then.
It took a few days to get my head around all the changes that were going on in my daily life at home. The Chiropractic Community was on full steam ahead coming together to try to find solutions and work out the best route for their clients as well as themselves, many choosing not to close. Everyone was responsible for their own risk assessment in doing sessions. Of course all of this came to an end when Boris Johnson announced lockdown at which point everyone had to shut their doors. There were many heated debates on the forums that I’m a member of about why we should have been able to continue to work but I felt very opposed to do so. This later was revised by the government and we are allowed to continue; I’m not even going to try to articulate how I feel about that in this blog.
I was busy trying to establish a new routine of being at home, making plans for the future, catching up on chores, clearing out, joining in webinars related to work, meditating, going for afternoon walks (my 1hr of outdoor exercise), being part of a 21 day happiness challenge, cooking some delicious nutritious meals, and talking to my family and friends on a daily basis as it kept me connected to everybody and the outside world. I was trying to be focused, upbeat and stay busy. However, I was also getting caught in the media frenzy about the virus whether it was through the news or social media and this subconsciously was making me anxious and worried.
“Courage dear heart” – C S Lewis
So you can imagine my absolute shock when I started to feel unwell 10 days into my new routine, it started with a sore throat, muscular aches and pains, headaches, coughing, tiredness and temperature fluctuations. On the first day of symptoms I was strongly advised by a family doctor to self-isolate and monitor the situation. The symptoms were gradual so I felt certain it was seasonal flu.
By day 7 my energy was totally sapped and my headaches became blinding, my aching was unbearably painful and I lost my sense of taste totally, everything tasted vile. I struggled to walk, the muscular pain is indescribable. I was taking muscle relaxants and doing hot epsom salt baths; it’s the first time neither helped. My heart rate was high which I think was an absolute fear of the unknown. I couldn’t tolerate anything or anyone near me. I totally withdrew and didn’t want to speak to any one including my husband who had escaped with some mild symptoms. It felt such a long drawn out day unrelenting in giving me any peace. I couldn’t see anything positive and I was beginning to feel very low and vulnerable. It was definitely the worst day for me as I had reached a breaking point. Eventually, I did fall asleep after I begged my husband to massage my feet and legs breaking all Covid 19 guidance but at this point neither of us cared. I would have done anything for some relief.
All I remember of day 8 is being wiped out; I couldn’t make sense of anything and felt in a very surreal place, very sleepy so I just slept an entire day.
Day 9 I saw a glimmer of hope, the muscular pains were less and the headaches were abating, this was such a huge relief.
By day 12 all my symptoms had gone except the extreme fatigue.
I’m now on day 16 and I’m still exhausted physically, mentally and emotionally and am still spending a lot of time resting/sleeping. I’m not fighting against it and have just surrendered trying to take each day as it comes. Even writing this blog has been over numerous days as I struggle to express and focus.
Did I have Covid 19 or seasonal flu? I couldn’t get a test done and currently as it stands there is no reliable antibody test but I’m fairly certain it was the virus.
Throughout all of this my family and close friends were my saviours; they tried to keep me buoyant by sending me regular text messages or voicemails. Their kindness, love, compassion, prayers, blessings, healing vibes and even their humour touched me. Thank you to each and every one of you for being by my side and looking out for me, reminding me that this too shall pass.
“To heal is to touch with love that which we previously touched with fear.”
Stephen Levine
